Wow, it's been forever since I've updated my blog. I guess life's been a little bit hectic. I guess it's settling. Maybe I'm just settling. I'm getting used to the loneliness, I'm getting used to being exactly who I will be for the rest of my life
- I'm settling for second best.
Things have been upside down, and I guess I'm just accepting them. I'm not here to write about that, however. Since it's been ages since I've updated, I wanted to start with my favorite post, postsecret! This weeks secret:
Although I can't exactly entirely relate - there is a freedom I'm loving in absolutely abandoning everything I lived for. I can't describe why. I've never felt more alone in my life, but I've never felt like I've had more potential to do anything more in my life. I'm leaving eveything behind because I've lost my love for most things. I don't know why, but I've become so utterly hopeless. So, in everything I've decided to leave behind, I've found a little solace. I don't know why I needed to do it, but I did. I haven't found happiness in my day to day life. When things changed, I didn't. I stayed the same and I couldn't figure out how to adapt. So, I'm changing my surroundings. I don't care if I lose my year over this. I'll start over new. Right now, this is all that's keeping me happy. All I want is to find love, all I want to feel love. To love and be loved. And, I've found the people in my life who make me feel that. I'm not gonig to waste my time on the people who make me hopeless. I know a lot of people don't really understand why I'm going, and I know there'll be a lot of rumours about where I go and why. But the truth is - I need out. I can't handle it. I'm not as strong as everyone thinks I am. So, I give. I've broken, and I give up. But it's this little piece of sadness that gives me happiness. I'm going to find something wonderful, and I'm going to do something wonderful. Because, when you've hit rock bottom, the only place you can go is up.
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